Grass is greener on the other side, I call B.S.

The expression the grass is greener on the other side of the fence is complete bullshit. Stay with me just in case I lost your interests I can explain. First of all there is one rule I live by take care of your own house before you but into someone else’s. Our government doesn’t really follow this but you should.

Here is where I can gain back your confidence. When you are going to take a plane somewhere there are always those safety speeches before you take off. Yes we don’t pay attention to them, but listen to the one part of their briefing that makes sense in everyday life. If the plane looses pressure masks will drop from the ceiling. Place a mask over your face first before you help others. PUT YOUR MASK ON BEFORE YOU CAN HELP ANYONE ELSE. It goes back to taking care of your home first before worrying about others. You have to put you mask on before you can help anyone. This applies to all of life. If you don’t take care of yourself you will not be able to help others. Self preservation is key.

You heard that right take care of yourself first. Yes you can help others but if your home isn’t in order or your mask isn’t on you aren’t valuable to anyone or anything else. How do you expect to help anyone if your house is all over the place. This goes for your physical and mental health. Your brain controls your whole body, if it is stressed or in a mess how do you expect anything to run properly.

Now the grass is greener on the other side is a bs statement. The other side can hold issues or problems you wouldn’t want to even take a stab at. We had neighbors who had everything new, they were so showy, we found out after the spouse passed away suddenly it was all leased. There wasn’t any ownership or value. I am saddened by the untimely death but the other side of my fence was just a façade.

However you can get ideas from the the other side of the fence. If you like certain areas you can work on them for yourself. This is another way of tending to your own grass. The difference between idolizing someone else’s goods and mentality is different then adopting those characteristics for yourself.

Story time how the grass is greener on the other side can change your actions.

Let me clear this up with a story from my fathers childhood. He grew up in Brooklyn and his father wasn’t really a dad to my father. He was more like a superior figure who steered him to becoming an adult but didn’t really spend the time with my father like he wanted. My fthers friend was always doing something with his own father. They went to the beach, played catch and did a ton of things together.

Instead of my father becoming jealous or saying the grass was greener on the other side of the fence, He decided to be a dad to my brother and I. He raised us to become adults but also spent time with us. He played sports, took us to the beach and was a friend of ours as well as a dad. He didn’t idolize the neighbor, he made a choice to change to become what he thought would be a great dad, he is now one of my brothers and my best friend.

The grass is greener where you tend to it.

Yes I said it you have to maintain and water your grass to make it greener. You have to feed it the nutrients it needs and mow it when it gets too long. You have to weed out the crab grass to make sure everything is all good and healthy. Does this not apply to your life. If you leave a sink full of dishes they aren’t going to clean themselves. You have to tend to them. Same with your lawn aka your life.

In lemans terms you have to take care of yourself. What does taking care of yourself really imply?

1. You have to take care of yourself physically. You have to eat better and go exercise. You don’t need to be Rocky but you should be healthy enough that you can move around without any struggle. Yes that is a true statement you have to be able to move around and tend to your physical needs. Binge watching tv isn’t going to create health.
2. You need to tend to your mental state. Here is the messed up part not all healthcare will pay for a therapist or a counselor for you. You need to lay out the money to see one. There are things in your head you will not be able to understand. All those inner thoughts that put you in your current situation where you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence have to be worked out. We also are coming over a pandemic where the media is using scare tactics to control us. There has to be a release and a safe place for you to go and get your mind right. You think it is all nonsense now but a nervous breakdown can be right around the corner if you bury all your emotions.
3. Start a mental health journal. Write all your thoughts and feelings down. Spill your guts out and see what is really deep down inside your mind. Draw pictures or doodle is you have to but get those thoughts on to paper. It is a great way to also track your mood swings and inner emotions.
4. Continue your education. Read some books or listen to them. Those corny self help non fiction business books. Yes i said it read and educate. We have the ability to learn why did you stop. If you look at any real estate of a wealthy person they always have a library. It isn’t for entertaining i was never invited to a library party at some ones house. They are used a learning material. Doctors have medical journals they read about their profession, why aren’t you reading about yours. Want a better career start studying for it. You cant have a manger title if you have a fryolator degree.

Making your grass greener takes work. It takes dedication and guess what you are the only one who who is responsible for you. Grow up and stop taring at other peoples lawns. You have to tend to your lawn, you have to nurture it and make it grow. Do you see what I am getting at the grass is greener on the other side is B.S. The grass is greener where you tend to it.

Do you want to be a better healthier you? You have to check your distractions, your influences and you need to make the step to be a better person.

During the pandemic I was forced to not leave my house. I am in NYC about 2 miles from where the pandemic started in America. I banged pots and pans at 7 pm for the frontline workers, but I was stuck in my house. I didn’t sit on my couch like a potato I learned how to start changing myself. I listened to books and researched different topics of interest while I was forced in my house. I was scared but i knew this was my time to find out who I really am.

I was so jealous of people that had back yards they can sit in and work from home. I didn’t have that luxury. I wanted to change that real quick. I pictured what my life would be like if I can make enough money to have a little escape where i too can sit outside and work. I took on any business idea to see if it would fit into my lifestyle. Yes the grass was greener on the other side only because i never tended to my own. I didn’t go after what I really wanted.

I am not a superstar I am a normal middle aged guy living in a nice apt in queens with no friggin backyard to sit in. I had to make the changes I had to put on my mask before i could help others. SO here is what I did

1. Made clear pictures in my head of what I wanted
2. Researched ways to get what I wanted. This meant getting an audible account and listening to books on business and phycology. Need an audible account click here.
3. I wrote a journal in the morning to document how I was feeling and what I needed to do to change my feelings. Yes you can control your emotions
4. Created a clear mental picture of what it would be like to have the options to go grow my grass.
5. I threw away all the bad outside influences I had including the media who in my opinion just wants to sell advertising on their channel. I could be wrong.
6. I started retraining my brain and found a web therapist who I can work out my problems with. While battling depression from staring at greener grass.

Part of getting yourself back on track is to have a weekly life coach session. Most people call this therapy or counseling. If you are looking to improve your life and remove your own distractions I truly suggest you get a therapist. Everyone star athlete has a coach to help them improve their game. If you want your grass to be greener you need your coach. You can steer the conversation with your life coach and their suggestions will only improve your life. If you don’t like your coach you can always change them. Below is a link to an online therapy site. Go sign up and remove that void you have had with just burying your emotions deep inside.

The grass is greener on the other side is just your lack of motivation talking. Everyone wants but no one is doing. Go do it. Fail, succeed, stay where you are you have that power. You have to learn the craft of failing forward and jumping hurdles. Yes life is a big pile of shit but if you have a bigger shovel than the other person you can get through the shit faster.

Make your grass greener. Make your life better. Challenge yourself, find a life coach (a therapist) and talk to them online or in person, or on the phone once a week and get your shit together. This pandemic has taught me 1 thing. I control what my grass looks like and so do you!!

Grass is greener on the other side of the fence is only a guide to better yourself not to idolize the neighbors!

Here are some other articles to help you with your mental health. Yes your mental health is more important than you think.