I have no sex drive and it’s ruining my relationship
Do you really want to fix your relationship? Is the loss of your sex drive a mental or physical thing?
Before you start reading this article remember you are not the only one with this problem. Life gets in the way and everything isn’t always perfect. This is just a small part of your wonderful life. What we call a blip on the radar. Keep an open mind and I hope to help you through this situation. You have to find the gap that is missing from when you first met to where you are now. This article will help you find what the issue is and we also have ways to fix your problem.
Let’s start at the beginning of the problem you have no sex drive. Take a deep look into what is taking your sex drive away. This is when you must personally reflect on did you have a high sex drive earlier in your relationship and has it simmered down or did you always have a low libido. This is when you really dive deep into your own sexuality. Your partner has nothing to do with this inner soul searching. Finding the true person that you are, can make all the difference in this problem.
in this article of I have no sex drive and it’s ruining my relationship.
- Top 6 reasons why you have no sex drive
- Mans Prospective
- Woman’s prospective
- 5 ways to help get your sex drive back
- Final thoughts
Here are the top 6 reasons you have no sex drive
- Sex has become monotonous – Maybe to get your libido back you have to spice up your sex life. Has your sex life changed over the years you have been married? Did you used to play games and flirt throughout the day? Bring back that excitement into your sex life by dressing up or using toys. This can be a great way to find out what type of kinks your partner might have. We have found that having someone want you can jumpstart your libido
- Your partner isn’t attractive to you – This is the prime example of when someone lets themselves go. Maybe they gained weight or they aren’t taking care of themselves hygienically. This can be changed with a little effort from yourself. Talk to your partner using unconditional love and let them know how you feel. Ask if they would like to change it and what can he do to change. Once they have an answer they owned that idea. Run with their suggestion. If your partner wants to work out, workout with them. Take a walk before or after dinner. The couples that sweat together stay together. Get pampered at the nail salon together. Noting like an hour of being pampered that hasn’t changed your mood. If its their clothes take them out shopping and tell them what you like your partner to wear. This will kill 2 birds with 1 stone. They is dressing sharper and you are giving them a confidence boost.
- Date nights – Are you still going out on dates and spending alone time with each other? Are you still in the relationship that you started with. I bet you went out all the time but now you have a family and responsibilities. You and your partner have to find time for each other. Hiring a babysitter isn’t expensive when it come to your relationship. Your relationship is the priority everything else comes second. Why? If you aren’t playing as a team your household can turn upside down in front of your eyes. Kids, pets, bills and chores get in the way of what you are really supposed to be doing. You are supposed to be happy and in love.
- Angry Partner – If your partner keeps on getting rejected they will interpret that as an attack and will build up an anger towards you. This can be resolved with talking to a couples counselor about what might be on their mind. This communication is important since most men will bury their emotions deep down and not express their feelings. This bottled up anger will then pop up when there is a trigger and can lead to arguments that will hurt your relationship
- Always tired – There is tired and there is depression. It’s a thin line between both of these two and they identify as each other. IF you are always tired, first change your diet and exercise plan. Second check your sleep schedule. You can’t go on less than 7 hours of sleep. 8 hours is what your target is but we all know that’s a hard target to hit. Also speak to a counselor to make sure you are not depressed. Depression can lead to physical harm to you as well.
- Your needs – Women and men both have sexual needs, it’s part of our genetics. In cases your needs haven’t been met sexually. Not all women reach orgasm the same and there might have to be some different activities done to reach your climax. This is actually the easiest one to fix. Just tell him what you want. Guide him through the process. Your husband will like the fact that you are enjoying yourself and if you find the right activities to fulfill your needs it becomes more enjoyable. Plus the next time they know what to do.
If that isn’t one of your reasons it ok. There are many reasons why you don’t have a sex drive. The focus of this article is to let you know that things change in your life in a blink of an eye. I experienced this with my tastes in food, one day I love cake the next day I have no desire. This can happen with your sex drive. In the statement I have no sex drive and my husband is mad the focus should be.
Why is my partner mad at me?
Now lets take a look at why my partner is mad at me. Men take being denied sex as a shot to their manhood. Why? Men are programmed that way. Most men have a love language of touch as their number one. This means they give and accept love through touch. This isn’t always sexually but it can play a big part. While you are thinking about your sex drive earlier in your relationship how was your husbands sex drive?
There is also a potential for a communication issue with you and your husband. Being in a marriage means there are going to be some hard to do talks. These can be non-argumentative if you know how to communicate with each other. Talking out of unconditional love is the best way to talk. This means there are no conditions to this conversation. This also relates to everything in the relationship. One example of a condition is if you take out the garbage I will watch your show with you. There is a condition there. Clear as day! If you feel as if you have lost your libido there are many options out there to help with your member issues.
A way to feel attached in a relationship to a woman is intimacy. With cuddling and intimacy, a hormone is released called oxytocin. This hormone makes you feel happy. With out a sex drive the intimacy is lost and the oxytocin levels in the body are lowered. This hormone that makes you feel happiness is not present leading to other emotions taking its place. This can lead towards anger and resentment.
“For both of these couples, the partner with higher sex drive may feel that the rejection of their sexuality means that the partner doesn’t love them, won’t go out of their comfort zone for the sake of the relationship, or finds them disgusting. Whatever their innate and personal triggers are — whether this is insecurity about lovability, body image concerns, sensitivity to rejection, or anything else — the lack of sex will exacerbate them.” Dr. Samantha Rodman www.talkspace.com website, accessed 29 September 2022,
Here are the top 5 ways to help you with I have no sex drive and it’s ruining my relationship:
- See a couples counselor – Opening up to a professional about the problems you are facing as a couple can benefit your relationship enormously. Seeking a counselor is the first step, how you and your partner go about using the counselor is another. Remember when you are talking to your counselor and your partner you have to become vulnerable. Opening up completely to your partner and the counselor is the only way therapy can work. Being open and honest and talking out of unconditional love is the best way to handle this small problem you are in. You can guide the conversation with the counselor and your partner. Make sure you have an agenda with your discussion points. Pay attention to pointing fingers. You don’t want to push blame to your partner. As a couple you are working on you together as a team. Expressing your feelings and worries is the only way to resolve the issues you might have. Starting an argument is no way to use a couples therapist. It is not the good ol days when if you saw a therapist you were insane. These counselors are a huge help to your mental stability in a relationship. Don’t listen to the critics, therapists are the best!
- Increase your knowledge of relationships – There are thousands of books talking about relationships. Do your research and learn how couples are supposed to love each other and communicate. Expressing love itself can be complicated on its own add miscommunication to the plate and it can turn into a mess. Through your reading and research you will find different roles men and women play in relationships. Emotions and feelings are also different when it comes to the opposite sexes. When you finally get a grasp of how to give and receive love it will open up a new view on being in a loving relationship
- Have that much needed deep conversation with your partner – Being completely open and honest with each other can make your relationship stronger. This conversation can be hard to deal with since there is some anger behind the actions from both parties. This is where being vulnerable and speaking out of unconditional love plays a huge part. Talk calmly about your feelings and make sure not to point any blame at your partner. Listen out of understanding and compassion. Listen before you speak and make sure you don’t have a thought processing before your partner finishes speaking. Let the conversation be thought about, listen with your heart not with your ego.
- Seek a personal therapist – You have to do a self evaluation of yourself to see why I have no sex drive and it’s ruining my relationship. With the help of a professional you can do a deep dive into what is making your sex drive so low. There may be other feelings that you have covered up in your life that need to be dealt with and brought to closure. Having an honest talk with a therapist or counselor can be enlightening and can change your life like you never thought before. Make sure you go into the session with an open mind, be completely vulnerable. This is a big step to helping yourself treat it that way.
- Boost your libido – As we get older we start to lose some of our younger years of sexuality. This is all natural as we age. It could just be your libido in a total package. Sometimes sexual sensitivity, sex drive or starting menopause. Women can start the symptoms of menopause in their 30’s. This can all be helped with supplements.
Remember times have changed since we were younger seeking a therapist’s help is not a bad thing anymore. When I was growing up it was frowned upon. Now it is just as important as going for your yearly checkup. Your brain controls everything that happens in your body. A brain under stress and problems will hurt the body and will have side effects that you can’t even imagine. Having a little stress can affect you, so go seek a therapists help to get your mind back in order.
I have no sex drive and it’s ruining my relationship is most likely an internal problem you are facing. Make sure you use meditation and daily journaling as a tool to really do a deep dive into your feelings. There is so much that can be uncovered when you look deep into your subconscious and your feelings. We have found opening communication with a therapist and having them guide you through this mediation process can help you discover what is lurking underneath your feelings of intimacy.
When you and your partner first got into a relationship you became a team. With all the hurdles you 2 have faced in life so far this hurdle can be easy to get over. Find ways to talk to each other about your feelings and emotions. To be vulnerable at this time in need is a must. Remember not to take any part of this conversation personally. They are battling his own feelings at the moment as well. These are the hard conversations that have to happen to fall back in live with each other.
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